Thursday July 19th: I Love Red Eyes
As a college student, saving money is the name of the game and if your gonna travel that means your gonna fly on “red eyes.” My departure from Seattle was 4pm with an ETA in Newark, NY at 12:30am. Of course the plane was late and this pushed back my arrival to 2:00am. A car service had been scheduled to pick me up but there was one confronting problem with this condition. The nearly thirty non-English speaking drivers stood in the baggage claim with their little name signs that were much too small for me to read. I did all that I could do and proceeded to go one-by-one and hold up my photo ID for them to match the last name. This tactic was affective and I hopped in the black Lincoln Continental and sped off to the West Side YMCA (my lodging). From my experience with car services in NYC, I am convinced that all of them are in some way connected with the Mafia.
Friday, July 20: A 2nd Go in My Undies
Thursday blended into Friday with a total sleep time of 4hrs. Friday began with the traditional PC breakfast for all the physically challenged athletes participating in the coming weekend’s NYC Tri. This year included many special features. First, the C Different Foundation had rallied up ten blind and visually impaired individuals, many of whom were C Different virgins. Secondly, former Spartan and good friend Taylor Goad was present to help the weekend run smoothly. Lastly, for the first time ever I would be racing in the Elite Age Group wave to show everyone that PC athletes are more than just “feel good” stories.
Following the breakfast I got a chance to spend some time with my “favorite” person over the age of 55yrs old and possibly top three of all time, Charlie Plaskon. If I was in charge I would impeach Bush and give Charlie full reigns in a heart beat. It was also great to meet the new members of CDF and the great guides that graciously volunteered time out of their busy lives. Time was clicking by though and I needed an outfit for the underwear run to take place later that evening. I pondered the decision for a long while but was finally enlightened. Good friend and race director John Korff had recently become a father and so little Jake donated his Elmo backpack, bottle of milk, bib, blankie, and baby bonnet for a good cause.
I needed a guide of course for this race and of course J Korff hooked me up again, this time with a hot model/triathlete. My first time guide Todd Wiley stated that running in his undies was not part of the contract and so he was placed on camera duty.
There was a time crunch with a C Different dinner at 6pm and scheduled debut of the blind naked baby in Central Park at 7pm. At 7:10pm, I made my appearance at the start line of the 2007 Chipotle Underwear Run. Nearly 400 people including NY’s own Naked Cowboy gathered for this historic event. The national anthem was scratched for a love song serenade by Naked Cowboy. The event would even be webcast so all those at home could watch. If you didn’t get to see it live, you can still see how the event unfolded by watching all the action at http://www.ironmitch.com/
As seen on video this event featured Olympic caliber runners that were free to express themselves. One guy outwardly expressed his view to boycott clothes while others wrote their name and digits on their undies just trying to score a date. There was only one blind baby wearing a cloth diaper though and that was yours truly. The event was a blast and after the race everyone ate Chipotle burrito bowls and socialized in their undies. Nearly an hour later I decided it was time to dawn my clothes and headed back to the Y to prepare for the talk I would be giving in the morning.
Saturday July 21st: A Comedy Show
Saturday morning was another early wake up and I jumped out of my comfy dorm style bunk bed and jumped on old Burley for a spin in Central Park with Todd. This ride didn’t go as planned as old Burley changed gears when she wanted and evidently didn’t like the chain because she repetitively threw it off. The bike was in no condition to race and we had to do something. This would have to wait till later because I had to go talk. We grabbed a cup of Joe and headed over to the Hilton to speak to the Janus Financial Executives who would be racing in the Janus Executive Challenge. John Korff would be introducing me and for those of you that don’t know John, every time he and I get up on the stage he turns the thing into a comedy show of funny stories. Normally he tells the participants things like how the Hudson would have “river art” (trash, logs, bodies, probably condoms, etc) floating around during the swim or how there would be psychotherapists at the swim start to comfort those that dread the water (this one was actually true). Once he finally introduced me, he of course made me tell them the duck story from Michigan State and then proceeded to tell them how I was going to destroy all the Elites (maybe a little bit far fetched). This eased the tension though because I went up on stage and quite possibly did my best talk ever and summed it all up with a tribute to the organization that made everything possible, C Different.
Following the talk, we jetted out and headed straight for the bike shop to restore the aging tandem we would be riding. I explained the situation and emphasized that the chain was stretched and needed replaced. Jose (bike mechanic) had other thoughts on the problem. He was successful in finding a defective link in the chain but his selective hearing led to a disregard for the loose chain which would be costly later. The damage was $65 and the bike seemed to be working great so we took the bike to transition and headed off to meet up with J Korff at the TNT Pasta Party. This would be my third appearance at this gathering but it would be a first time hearing Korff tell some life stories. I held my hands in my head as he told of his first and probably only triathlon race in Malibu, CA in which he raced in khaki shorts and a t-shirt and rode a 50lb beach cruiser. Even worse, he decided to calm his nerves pre-race by lighting up a “J” and smoking it. I told him not to tell them that story but J. Korff does what he wants and that’s what makes him so special.
From the 2nd comedy show of the day, I headed over to the fundraising dinner for C Different and the Foundation Fighting Blindness. I was excited because one of the few people I connected with in Thailand (Allison) made the trip to Tony Demarco’s. She was finally able to connect and interact with the people that she so passionately supports. I made sure she met Charlie Plaskon. Charlie would for sure get her on the C Different boat and I think he did.
By 9pm it was time to head back to the YMCA. Todd and I would be waking up at 3:30am and we still had to pack up our tri bags and stop at a local market for breakfast food. The city of New York never sleeps but breakfast would be hard to come by at 4am in the morning. By the time I got in bed it was 11:30pm. Good thing that sleep the night before the race is not too important because if that was the case I would be racing on empty.
Sunday July 22nd Racing Like a Pro
At 3:30am the alarm went off and I lay in bed contemplating why I do what I do. Then I remembered what the sport had done for me and from there on in it was “game time.” We walked out into the dark deserted street that was entertained by a few lingering cabs and snagged one for ourselves.
As we entered transition and headed to our spot nestled among the elite athletes, I could sense the competition was eyeing us down and questioning “how is that kid racing with us” and of course there were the familiar grumbles of “that’s not fair.” I have learned to laugh at those comments and use them to fuel my fire. Matt West once replied to them, “Is it fair that he only has 10% of his vision?” Regardless of the comments, Todd and I put our game faces on and embarked on the mile walk to swim start and the over one hundred Honey Buckets brought in for the race. It took a few years but race directors are finally valuing the importance of the pre-race poop.
At 5:55am it was time to find our starting position on the pontoon. I was racing in the 80 person Elite Age Group wave and would be starting from a dive. John Korff spouted off facts about me over the loud speaker as Todd and I assessed how we would dive the 8ft without strangling a fellow competitor. Although, choking a competitor with our tether would mean one less person to worry about, it would also mean we would have to tow that guy with us. The swim was rough and the tether was nearly ripped from our waists as we were bumped and clawed. Without a warm up and because we dove in, my body went into semi-shock and I began gasping for air. I wanted to stop for a few breaths but realized that O2 is overrated and powered ahead and in near world record time (thanks to the strong current), 13:25, Todd and I exited the swim near the front of the Elite Age Group wave. The 1/2mile run to transition gave us plenty of time to figure out how we would transition and so there was no excuse for a slow transition. We snagged the red bus and headed out for the 25mile bike. Our goal was to hammer the bike and put ourselves in a good position before the run. My run is pretty respectable but some of these guys are like greyhounds.
Only a mile into the bike it happened again. I should have known our little friend Jose was out of his element. The chain was stretched; even I could have told him that. It was too late, the chain fell off and we had to stop. We hopped back on and started cranking but it wasn’t more than a few minutes before it happened again. Every time we got into the highest gear we lost the chain. We would have to sacrifice our biggest gear for the remainder of the bike. This would hurt us greatly on the downhill but we would just have to make the uphill burn. By this time I was fired up inside and decided I was gonna have to bust out the cannons and take some people out. I told Todd, it wasn’t play time anymore and we started hammering it. We began to fly by people and by the turn around we had passed the entire Age Group Elite women and were near the top of the Age Group Elite men. Every muscle in my legs was burning but we kept the hammer down and began passing some of the Elite women. As we neared the transition Todd informed me of a pack of seven guys within 200yds of us. We picked it up again and by transition had taken out five of them. Screeching around the wicked turns into transition we took to the run with a possible podium finish in our mind. I knew this course like the back of my hand and so there weren’t gonna be any surprises on the run. Well, there was one surprise about the 3rd mile mark when this mysterious man riding on the trail above kept shouting down “keep up there with them, big hill coming up, doing good.” Who was this guy? Who was he talking to? I didn’t know and didn’t really care but he must have been the coach of one of the Elite women that we flew by. At about 4.5miles into the run I felt myself fading and fading quickly so I reached into my pocket and pulled a little power punch (GU with CAFFEINE). Within minutes I was back in the game and headed towards the finish. With 400m to go I heard someone coming up behind us and tried to feed off the crowd’s energy to hold on but it wasn’t enough. He was one of those greyhounds I referred to earlier. Regardless, as we came to the line the crowd went nuts and we crossed the line in a new PR of 2:03. I was ecstatic about the finish and did not think that I would set a PR on this day. Todd did an AMAZING job at guiding especially considering that the day before he had never ridden a tandem bike. It was a great inauguration into guiding for him and if needed I will definitely call on him again. In spite of this, Matt West is still my main man. He has sacrificed so much time and energy for me that “anything less would be uncivilized.” (Charles Barkley, Gillette commercial).
My race was over and you know what that means. It was time to party!!! We met up with my underwear beauty Caroline Gayner and waited the arrival of all the rest of the C Different Athletes and the over 65 physically challenged competitors that took to the water, roads and trails for the 2007 USAT PC National Championship. By racing Age Group Elite I had foregone my chances at the PC National title but that was fine because I wanted to battle it out with the big dogs.
One by one CDF athletes crossed the line. Like family, we waited for the others to finish and then grouped up for a photo op before heading over to the awards where there was much hardware to be brought home. Following the awards, we all went our separate ways due to travel arrangements. Some of us stayed for the annual Korff post-race party, including this guy. This year was special though because Leslie Korff (John’s wife) was initiated into the sport.
Regardless, after a few drinks I was feeling great for the plane flight ahead and headed off to Newark to end another journey and chapter in the wild and crazy life of me.
